There is no escaping pressure. We all feel it, and it’s something we all must learn to handle. It might be well-meaning pressure from our parents to succeed in school, to “keep up with the Joneses” and spend money we don’t have, to have just one more drink, to try a drug that is just a little more powerful, or to have sex. There is no way to avoid having some sort of pressure in life. Many people have lost their identities and have forgotten how to make decisions for themselves because of the strong pressure surrounding them.

Sometimes pressure can push us to succeed or excel at whatever it is we are doing. On the other hand, there is a more subtle pressure that often comes from our friends and peers — the pressure to go just one step further, to push the limits just a little bit farther — the pressure to have sex.

The real problem is the source of this pressure. The media bears a lot of responsibility for the way women and men alike perceive sex, and even how they view themselves. A good chunk of media lives by the slogan “sex sells”; sex is used to sell everything from cars and beer to clothing or chewing gum. It’s hard to recall a TV episode, movie or commercial in which underlying sexual tensions weren’t an issue. A female in an ad or on TV is still expected to be a sex symbol, while the male must be smart, suave, masculine and attractive. Movies and television shows that feature a character who is not the media’s definition of “beautiful” or “sexy” will most likely have a hang-up, character flaw or some sort of psychological issue. This character is typically the lonely friend or the crazy family member. We may not want to admit it, but many forms of entertainment follow this very specific formula. There are things that make each story different from the others, but if you break down the storylines, the themes are all very similar. And the most popular themes are love and lust, adding to the mounting pressure to engage in sex.

When some people are pressured to have sex, the typical motive is “everyone is doing it.” Although some people may be doing it, not everyone is having sex. The truth is many people are struggling with the pressure to have sex, and we should constantly be aware of that pressure and the consequences of giving in to it. People often don’t consider the side effects of their actions, whether those actions are having sex or having too much to drink because once again, “everyone is doing it.” If you happen to go out to a party one night and go the extra mile with somebody, there may be consequences you did not intend. Your reputation could forever be altered, your self-esteem diminished or, in rare cases, you may be feeding more than one mouth in nine months. In any situation, even if there aren’t immediate negative consequences or major implications in the future, you will be affected in some way by your one-night rendezvous.

As humans, we all crave to feel loved and be seen as attractive in the eyes of others. And oftentimes, when this romantic void cannot be filled, the urge to feel loved is “solved” through sex. We have been brainwashed to believe we must have sex to find love, but the best way to find love is to simply be yourself while making smart decisions.

Unfortunately, too many people feel they can’t be themselves. So they go that extra step, whether they really want to or not. They give in to the pressure.

We all need to find a way to deal with the pressures we inevitably face, including sex. We need to learn how to respect ourselves and the people around us. This isn’t saying sex is entirely bad; it’s just a decision that should be made by an individual, and not through the pressure from peers and the media. We need to listen to ourselves and not to the pressures we encounter. When it comes down to it, it’s your life, and you must face any potential consequences that may come from sex.