Girls becoming too dependent on men

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Maybe it’s just me, but lately I’ve been noticing how dependent girls are becoming on the male species. And by dependent I don’t mean girls can’t function without a guy around, even though that may be the case for some. I’m talking about this extreme dependence on guys for attention, self-esteem, motivation and acceptance. And every time I come across a girl in this situation I find myself asking the same question: Why?

I will be the first to admit almost every girl likes a certain amount of attention from guys. Now I’m not talking about the creepy, refuses-to-back-off attention — more like the sincere “I’m definitely interested” type of attention. But when it comes to the point at which a girl will base her entire night around whether she gets a text from some guy, or base her entire sense of self-esteem on whether a boy commented on her looks, then I truly start to pity her. How can you let someone have that much control over you?

Take this past weekend for example. I know a girl (let’s call her “Ashley”) who spent the entire weekend moping around because the guy she had been seeing decided to go to a sorority date event, behind her back, with another girl. After not hearing from him all weekend, Ashley* gets a text late Sunday night asking her to come over. Now if I were “Ashley,” that text would have been deleted immediately, and I would’ve gone right back to studying. But did she go? Absolutely. Of course she first had to spend a good 20 minutes justifying why she was crawling back to him in the first place.

The moral of the story is this: Girls need to have and maintain the strong sense of independence that initially attracts most guys. A girl like “Ashley” will never be taken seriously. Having the ability to stand up for yourself and not let a guy completely control you or your emotions is a valuable trait. You should never allow someone to become your priority if you are only an option. Trust me, I know from personal experience how hard it can be to not send that text or not make that call and be all needy. The attention is nice, but you have to really evaluate the sincerity of it. What are you getting out of this, and what is he? Girls everywhere could always use more encouragement and more faith in themselves and their abilities. No guy is worth it if he repeatedly makes you feel like crap. Give it a try, and maybe he’ll end up being the one who comes crawling back to you. Ah, how the tables have turned.

Coconino Community College
Student Housing at NAU