5. “Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Yeah, so last week I criticized Electronic Arts and Bioware for problems associated with this game and the ability to play it on non-HD televisions. However, after I got the chance to watch this game being played for a greater length of time, I realized that it’s quite a gem of a game and one I’ll certainly be looking to buy when I either get an HD television (not likely) or when the glitch is fixed (considerably more likely). So, hats off to Electronic Arts and Bioware for creating a great-looking (and great-playing) game. You’re off the hook, EA. But still consider yourself on thin ice: I still own NBA Live ’08. I will never forget.

What you should have learned: I was wrong. By the way, my source for that information was yahoo.com. Just in case any of you were wondering. Oh, and you get bonus points if you see the reference. No prize, though.

4. The greatest rock band of all time. I had a conversation about this with my friends a while back, but I figured that now would be a good time to bring it up. First, this blog needs more non-sequitor moments (I’m starting to think that it’s less about learning anything as opposed to being entertained. But, if you’re relying on this blog for your education, then, well, you’re awesome). Second, it’s been a widely debated subject, as well as a very subjective one. For example, I was just never really into The Beatles. I recognize that they were popular and all; I just personally never fell in love with music. Others would label them as the greatest rock band of all time. As far as I’m concerned, they are narrowly surpassed by one band: Led Zeppelin is simply amazing. They wrote the songs you’ve heard your entire life but never recognized as belonging to them. They pioneered hard rock (“Kashmir”), the rock-n-roll epic (“Stairway to Heaven”), and music preferred by people on drugs (“Dazed and Confused”). Okay, so they didn’t exactly “pioneer” any of those categories, but they were amongst the first, and, in most cases, the best to play in these genres.

What you should have learned: If you somehow disagree with my assessment, I double-dog-dare you to listen to the 24-song collection the band just released (by the way, there’s nothing wrong with recommending a “Greatest Hits” album, if you’ve listened to the original compilations). Actually, I wouldn’t. That’s a long CD. You’ll be half-way through “Achilles Last Stand” in about two years.

3. Olympic-sized yawn. It seems like I’m the only person alive who doesn’t care about the winter Olympics being held in Vancouver this month. Everyone else is practically wetting themselves in excitement for every event. It may be because I’m from Phoenix (where winter is more of an city-wide inside joke than an actual season), or it may be because I find over-hyped sporting events to be quite boring (I know for certain that I’m the only one alive, excluding my roommate, who didn’t watch this year’s Super Bowl). I’m not going to insult any sport in particular, because I do know athletes work hard to train for them. I just don’t care. Yet, it seems like every piece of news on the national circuit involves either Shaun White or Tiger Woods. Is it even a fair choice when I have to choose between watching curling and watching an apology speech from an athlete I don’t care about? And not to contradict what I said earlier (oh, all right — to completely contradict what I said earlier), but I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t care. Maybe it’s the nebulous month-long overexposure on NBC, or just a general lack of interest in the only competition with more steroid-use than a) baseball or b) an Orlando Magic game. But I simply don’t care, and I know a ton of other people don’t either.

What you should have learned: I think the Olympics needs a major change. Instead of taking the best each country has to offer, nations should randomly select citizens to compete. Doesn’t the idea of that old guy who plays pick-up games of basketball with you at the gym playing for the Gold sound absolutely hilarious? Wouldn’t you tune in to see that preppy girl from high school playing a vicious game of hockey? Hey, the rest of NBC’s lineup of shows has gone to creativity hell – making the Olympics a reality television show would only be fitting.

And, out of the fear that I’ve offended someone deeply in love with the winter Olympics, I should probably inform you that I’m completely kidding. I think.

2. Gingrich channels his inner Sarah Connor. I know I poke fun at a lot of conservative leaders on this blog, and I’m trying to branch out and be more equal in my criticism. But, I simply couldn’t pass this one up. It’s a quote from a speech that Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House when the dinosaurs and Richard Nixon ruled the earth (at least that’s what Sarah Palin told me, but I think her telling of history is lost on everyone short of Michael Crichton and Harry Turtledove).

“I believe we are now in a struggle over whether or not we are going to save America,” Gingrich said. “I believe the radical left is a secular, socialist machine so dedicated to values destructive of America that if it is allowed to remain in power … that machine is antithetical to the survival of America as a prosperous healthy country. ” A secular, socialist machine — what, are the Democratic leaders working for Skynet? Probably, given that Nancy Pelosi’s organic life signs cannot be detected (told you I’d get one in). This quote is ridiculous, and it goes to show why people like Gingrich should never be put into positions of authority.

What you should have learned: How would your workplace function if, after having a disagreement at work over the amount of mustard to put on a hoagie, you met with your boss and informed him that your coworker was actually evil and was working to destroy all the sandwiches being made there? Well, your boss would fire both of you for being stupid and making the customer wait an half-an-hour for an inferior sub sandwich. Pay attention, Congress. Do better, or else. And by “or else,” I mean that we’re going to Quiznos.

1.n The difference between what is considered “news” and what is considered “opinion.” Since I began working for this paper, I’ve noticed an alarming trend amongst students on this campus when they give us “feedback” (read: non-constructive criticism) on anything we write; they say we do not know the difference between opinion and news writing. Allow me to educate you, then, since I have written for both sections at various times. News writing is what I primarily do now, outside of this blog and any staff editorials I may write in the future. Some features of news writing includes, but is not limited to: a non-biased approach, a liberal use of a variety of sources (both who are experts and “laymen” students), and a high quote-to-author ratio (that is to say that there should be more of what others say over my own writing in a news piece). As for an editorial, it usually: has an inherently biased approach (all opinions have a bias by nature), an optional use of sources (it’s encouraged, but would you cite Paul Krugman when speaking your opinion? Not always — some opinions, say on issues of morality, have little evidence to back them up), and a high author-to-anything else ratio. And those are the breaks.

What you should have learned: So, you might ask yourself, what category does this blog fall into? That would be opinion. “But [insert vaguely insulting slur here], you’re a news writer!” Yeah, and what’s your point? This is something completely different. We don’t criticize the lawyer for going home to play with his kids, or the doctor for playing video games on his days off.