5. A tribute to J.D. Salinger.The Catcher In The Rye, is perhaps the most iconic American novel to emerge after the end of the second World War. Salinger could have had it all — the fame and fortune that accompanies being a literary celebrity. But, for whatever mysterious reason, he rejected all of it and lived his life away from the spotlight. I’m sure that, moving forward, we’ll discover why Salinger rejected “the good life” for certain, but I’m relatively convinced that this is one author who had it figured out. Celebrity — and life — is always fleeting, but a life of humbleness is something one cannot regret.

What you should have learned: Despite the virtues of modesty, life is to be lived, not hidden from. Very few people have a shot at fame, and maybe in retrospect we will always wonder what further works Salinger might have been able to produce with his level of literary genius. That being said, here is a salute to a man who made his own decision about what he wanted to do with his talents — a rare occurrence in the modern world.

4. Kevin Bertram has become a fan of not becoming a fan of becoming a fan. Okay, the Facebook phenomenon of “becoming a fan” was cool for a while. Most of the fun in it involved just remembering things about your childhood (Kevin Bertram became of a fan of “Being that one kid in high school who answered every single question in class with no consideration for the learning processes of others”) or things that you didn’t know other people did as well (Kevin Bertram became a fan of “Being left-handed and holding a secret, hidden loathing for the world and it’s lack of lefty desks and scissors”). But, now it’s just gotten to the point where it’s stupid. As a journalist and as a historically-minded person, I rely on Facebook as a social barometer of sorts (and for more important things, like finding out about new Saturday Night Live skits. Hold on — I have to watch “Throw it on the Ground” just one more time)…. Wait, what was I talking about?

What you should have learned: I’m not really sure. I lost track of what I was saying before watching videos on Youtube for about three hours. Something about people in today’s world being too addicted to the Internet as a means of defining themselves or something?

3. State of the Disunion. I was at work, so I didn’t actually get to watch the speech. But, the reviews were mixed on how it went. Of course, I could have predicted such a reaction before the speech went on the air. That’s the thing about fervent partisanship: it’s utterly and completely predictable. President Obama could have told Congress that he was going to make Ted Nugent his Secretary of Defense, fully legalize missile launchers, and invade France — and Republicans would have still hated the speech more than anything they have ever hated (at least until they decide that _________ is threatening to unravel the moral fabric of America). Inversely, he could have announced that he was going to make George W. Bush anything and Democrats would have loved it to death. At what point do we say enough is enough with the love to death / hate with passion nonsense? Can’t we just all admit that Obama’s a pretty neat guy on a personal basis who’s performing pretty average / mediocre in office considering the challenges he’s faced with on a daily basis, and that none of us could really do much better?

What you should have learned: Wait, what? You think you can do better? Well, aren’t you in luck! The Republican Party is currently accepting applicants for the position of “Presidential Candidate.” Be sure to include your resume. Do not include any references to once being able to see Russia from your house, please.

2. Time to ‘iPad’ Steve Job’s retirement fund. Apple’s latest gadget / gizmo / miracle is essentially a giant iPod Touch. And for those who might protest me calling it more of the same, in my defense, it doesn’t really do anything especially new or special. But, that’s really nothing new for Apple. After all, they have released a thousand variations of what was essentially the same iPod Shuffle for years. So, the iPad is nice, sure. I’m just skeptical as to why it is the greatest thing since sliced bread (again). Why is Steve Jobs the oracle of technological advancement for our society when touch-screen “notepads” have been around for several years? And while we are on the subject of Jobs, does he have any shirts in his closet that don’t come in the “black turtleneck” variety? Is there ever a casual Friday in Cupertino, CA?