Fizz Out
1. Willie Nelson Likes Weed:
The country star best-known for the hit singles “On the Road Again” and “Always on My Mind” reportedly was arrested for possession of marijuana while on tour over the weekend.
I understand Nelson is not one to shy away from potential drug use. After all, the singer reportedly kicks out bands and guests who refuse to partake in his ceremonial smokeout. But when Nelson is getting arrested by the border patrol in Texas (not his friends in narcotics), it seems as if the 77-year-old crooner may be getting a bit brash in his old age.
I just hope Nelson learns his lesson this time. When you’re an influence for the kids on That ‘70s Show, you know you could be doing more with your life.
2. Marky Mark Heading Into Uncharted Territory:
Videogame adaptations have had a bad rep. Whether it’s Jake Gyllenhaal playing Middle Eastern royalty (in Prince of Persia) or John Leguizamo channeling his inner plumber (in Super Mario Bros.), it just seems like Hollywood can’t please gamers (you know, because the girls aren’t flocking to do so).
But it seems David O. Russell and Columbia Pictures think a former underwear model can help change this trend. Mark Wahlberg has been cast as the lead for Uncharted, a film based on the PlayStation 3 videogame bearing the same name.
Wahlberg has been in a videogame flick before (Max Payne), and he failed to impress. Maybe it was a bad game (thus leading to a bad script/movie), or maybe the same dude who starred in the Planet of the Apes reboot just can’t act.
3. Sheen protective of his porcelain throne:
Police are investigating harassment claims from porn star Capri Anderson that Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen became abrasive and violent in a recent confrontation. Sheen, who was sent to the hospital after trashing his room at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, apparently confronted Anderson following a fight. Anderson said she felt so threatened (why shouldn’t she? The guy from Platoon must have been bringing the heat), she reportedly hid in Sheen’s bathroom for hours before sneaking out while he was passed out.
Anderson claims Sheen approached her at a later date and offered her a large sum of money in exchange for her keeping her mouth shut about the altercation. But as fate would have it, she’s a porn star, so discretion is not her strong suit; she’s been doing talk shows left and right. Charlie, hopefully by now you’ve figured out that when you pay a woman $3,500 to spend time with you, she’s not going to end up being the most loyal creature. Look how that whole Denise Richards thing ended up (if you can remember that far back, of course).
4. Never Say Never to stink up theaters :
When I first heard there was going to be a documentary based on the life of Justin Bieber (all seven years of it), I laughed and replied filmmakers would never let that happen. Apparently the joke is on me; Never Say Never, the film set to bring the apocalypse faster than 2012, is set to come out Feb. 11, 2011. Because I enjoy inflicting serious mental anguish on myself, I decided to investigate and easily found the trailer online.
After the first 30 seconds (this is a serious trailer that racks up more than its share of minutes), projectile vomiting ensued. After copious amounts of Pepto Bismol and a couple hours in my happy place, I was able to logically assess the situation: The film industry is beginning a slow and painful death. What truly inspirational words could be said by a 4-foot, 2-inch (on a good day) prepubescent teeny-bopper best known for inflicting pain on helpless laser-tag opponents? And you know the worst part about it? The film is set to appear in 3D, which just proves how flawed trips into the other dimension can be.
5. Axl Rose drops the ball… again:
Axl Rose, iconic front man of the ‘80s rock band Guns N’ Roses, has filed a $20 million lawsuit against game developers Activision, creators of the wildly popular Guitar Hero series. Rose alleges the company used fraudulent methods to secure the singer’s authorization of the use of the song “Welcome to the Jungle” in the 2007 release of Guitar Hero 3. A little late to the party, are we Axl? Perhaps I’m the only one who is unclear as to how Activision managed to “induce” (and I use that term loosely) an almost 50-year-old man into signing a legally binding contract giving the aforementioned corporation permission to use the song in their game. Three years later, and now you sue them for it? How about you just concentrate on your surplus of plastic surgeries as you continue to decimate your rock ‘n’ roll legacy? Leave the legal issues to those who didn’t completely ruin their minds with drugs and alcohol in the ‘80s.
6. Mission Ending For Cruise:
Tom Cruise just can’t buy a break these days. His last film, the critically acclaimed Knight and Day, failed to impress audiences and became just another flop for the world-renowned Scientologist.
So it is understandable Paramount (the folks behind the Mission: Impossible franchise) is looking for a new leading man to take over the series after the next installment, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Reports list Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker) as a potential replacement for Cruise, seeing as they are co-stars in the upcoming sequel.
Either way, I will be greatly disavppointed to see Cruise step away from the franchise he helped create. As crazy as he is, the man can still act. Check out Tropic Thunder if you don’t believe me.
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Willie learn his lesson? His court fees are probably going to be cheaper than the promotional costs he can save in advertising! He doesn’t care, and they will not put him in jail, you can be sure of that!
Another thing, overall, from my understanding, Knight and Day did over $260 million overall. I think after production costs and marketing they made over 100 million on that movie…..hardly the flop you are making it out to be! Just because a movie does not do really well in the US means it is going to do poorly overall…..this is an American conceit that is just not true!